What did you get up to at the weekend?

“What did you get up to at the weekend?”

Well, thanks for asking, Outside World.

I went to Storyhouse Live in Chester for an event called Storyhouse Childless, and if you think that sounds miserable, as one person commented, then you don’t know what you’re missing. I laughed a lot, lost my voice, sung BINGO to the tune of DISCO and then there was the horse impersonation.

Outside World, did your weekend include …

Speed friending? Food court meal with friends, amazing coffee, breakfast in an accessible library/kitchen/theatre space sat beneath the words of the late Professor Benjamin Zephaniah? Did you listen to panelists on a range of topics from being single and dating and chronic illness? Did you feel the power from listening to two podcast hosts in not one, but two theatres, introducing sessions on pets, family, friends, grief, infertility and men with inclusive facilitators?

Did you, Outside World, feel entertained at a cabaret featuring extracts from two plays and a comedy night that wasn’t at all pronatal, followed by a glorious evening of food with lots of new friends and ones you met before? On Sunday, did you begin your day with a body mapping workshop and creative writing hour, and enjoy art and a short film? An event where people lingered for four hours after it ended? Where the post-event chat on Facebook and WhatsApp is still happening?

Nope? Oh, what a shame *head tilt of pity*, Outside World.

I’m very privileged to be part of the focus group for Storyhouse Childless so I admit some bias, but I think that this year was the best yet. Even 7 hours on the M6/A14 in rain doesn’t dim the lights. Discussion groups meant that people mingled early on, removing boundaries and gaining comfort - whatever felt safe. Post-event, people are trying to connect again (Clare with a cat, you made an impression, please get in touch!). The Focus Group were introduced on stage, sharing our thoughts and that was helpful for us and the audience. Lanyards helped people to find each other and create space of safe conversation.

I love how each year, the Storyhouse Childless event changes and flexes to take in feedback and it grows in different ways. I appreciate, from the CIC nature of the Full Stop, that nourishment matters as much as numbers. Where else would people travel from Australia and Canada to feel included? That’s the power of Storyhouse Childless and its reputation.

May we move from FOMO to Joy Of Missing Out as that is to know there is an event out there, when just five years ago there was none? Who knows what the future will bring!

For me, there was a joy in simply being there and enjoying the conversations. You can find some Instagram Lives on the Full Stop feed, but otherwise both Sarah and I were happy to ‘be’ with no pressure other than to show up as our usual friendly, supportive selves. This sense of peace was clear to me as I walked to the venue on Friday evening ahead of speed friending and an unexpected thought popped into my head as the building came into view - ‘there’s home’. It was a phrase that came back to me during Gayle Letherby’s creative writing workshop later. Rarely do we find safety and alliances or a sense of belonging in you, Outside World.

My feeling was one of creation. Yes, I know that’s a tricksy word that the Outside World has stolen and pronatalised. I stood on the balcony looking down (on the top of the world ….!) and heard so many voices on the Saturday morning and all through the weekend. It felt vibrant; this beautiful noise that was rising up from people who often feel they can’t speak. There was a joy of gentle harmonies after the post-Cabaret meal when the magnificent Kitchen team allocated us to tables. We could mingle safely knowing that nobody would ask those awful questions about our private lives as we had the venue to ourselves! Yup, all the tables.

At the start of the weekend, I looked out from the big stage and saw a few people sat alone or in groups in the audience. At the closing events, I noticed new groups had formed and people had moved around or sat with others; a real sense of finding places and safe spaces within the world that Storyhouse Childless has created.

I don’t think that there are words to capture that feeling, Outside World and it’s not possible to understand unless you feel the weight of exclusion and othering yourself. Yes, it’s true that people who are not parents should be made welcome everywhere and that’s a wonderful, albeit emotionally exhausting, goal. Meantime, Storyhouse Childless is a unique opportunity where childless and childfree people can come together to get a sense of what a better, inclusive world we might create through shared alliances. It’s a springboard to ideas, connections and finding other places in which to connect and get support. And talk about unicorns.

A great person I know said that it was ‘ordinary people doing extraordinary things’ and that ‘extraordinary thing’ may be walking through the doors to a truly unique event. If you are childless, childfree, somewhere in between or a supportive ally, and fed up with the Outside World that seeks to divide and judge, come on in.

I can’t wait to meet you in our special world.