Be More Graham Norton
Why asking about babies isn’t an ‘off-camera’ question
Fans of Graham Norton or Taylor Swift may have picked up on news around Graham’s chat show on the BBC, which stole the news, despite not being aired. TikTok user Sammie Nicole was in the audience and shared her point views on the social media platform.
Here’s a summary of what Nicole claimed to have happened:
Jodie Turner-Smith, also a guest on the sofa, asked Swift if she had any ‘baby plans’ which Swift misunderstood as having babies at her wedding. Jodie is reported to have clarified her enquiry as “No, I mean when are you going to have babies?”
People have commented that Norton was wise to intervene and descalate the line of enquiry. He reportedly said that it’s an “off-camera question” and the moment wasn’t broadcast.
Swift hasn’t said that she’s choosing not to have children or that she’s childless not by choice, but she stood up for ‘childless cat ladies’ during the US elections. Childless people are clearly on her radar.
Whether you are a fan of Swift or not, it raises a good point about ‘that question’ and how many commentators on articles have universally said it was inappropriate.
We are unlikely to be guests on a BBC One chat show yet in our real world, imagine those words being asked in front of business colleagues, at a networking event? It’s a forerunner to the ‘do you have kids?’ It reflects badly on Turner-Smith as it does with anyone who asks this type of question, but it happens often.
Existing in a pro-natal world means that there’s rarely any visible support for those who do not conform to society norms. We’re left to flounder in the face of such an enquiry and have to do our part to educate, when there are resources available, not least 5 years of our Full Stop podcast.
Do we say we can’t and open ourselves up to solutions and platitudes, whilst trying to hold onto our private boundaries?
Must we excuse ourselves and risk being seen as rude?
Do our childfree friends have to justify their reasons and risk being told they are wrong?
It’s interesting to see it played out as an outsider to the event and wishing it was aired. The awkward feels are coming over in the wires and that’s a novelty when we childless and childfree people are often the insect under the microscope in this sort of scenario.
We don’t all have a Graham in our lives, though we urge people to step up. It’s not a question for off-camera or anywhere, but we’re appreciating the spotlight on why.
It is, after all, too personal. As we and thousands of others have said over the years - it shouldn't take a celebrity to highlight this.
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash
