Childless at the End of Life: What Nobody Tells You
This is one of those episodes that takes a little courage both to make, and perhaps to listen to. But we think you'll come away from it feeling more informed, less alone, and ready to take at least one step you've been putting off.
Death and end of life planning are topics most of us avoid. Add childlessness into the mix and the silence gets even louder because so much of the information, guidance and legal framework out there assumes that you have someone: a child, a close family member, someone who knows you and will step in when the time comes. For a growing number of people, that assumption simply doesn't hold.
In this episode we bring together three guests with distinct and complementary expertise to have the conversation that so many childless adults need and so rarely get.
In this episode we cover:
What end of life planning actually means, from advanced care planning right through to after death
Powers of attorney: what they are, how they work, and crucially, what your options are if you don't have someone you trust to appoint
Advanced Statements and Advanced Decisions to Refuse Treatment and why Penny argues these matter more than most people realise
The concept of social death and how childlessness shapes the experience of ageing and loss
What happens to your belongings and why recording the provenance of meaningful items matters
The gap in legal guidance around local authority funerals and why it urgently needs updating
Why there is currently no central register of wills in England and Wales and what that means for people who die alone
The role of animals in later life, and the organisations that can help
Assisted dying legislation: what it means (and doesn't mean) for powers of attorney right now
Our guests:
Charlotte Dixon — wills and probate solicitor and lifetime lawyer
Professor Gail Letherby — sociologist and researcher specialising in childlessness, identity and the life course
Penny Shepherd — coordinator of Ageing Without Children East Kent and trustee of the Aging Without Children (AWOC) charity
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Having worked as a nursery nurse prior to the miscarriage (in the early 1980s) of my, to my knowledge, one and only pregnancy, one and only baby, I gave up my job and listlessly, sometimes desperately, wandered through my own life feeling that I had no purpose and no future. It was the support of others, mostly my mum, and (when looking for something to fill a bit of time) finding Sociology that saved me. Across my 35+ year career I have undertaken research and written much on the experience of those who do and those who do not mother (and father) and the implications and impact of this. My focus in my PhD (1990s) was infertility and involuntary childlessness and I interviewed and corresponded with more than 80 individuals, mostly women but some men too. In all my writings I challenge simplistic definitions and misunderstandings, which recently has included those surrounding the experience of ‘growing older’ as a childless not by choice woman. I always reflect on, and often include, my own experience in my academic work. Sixteen years ago I became interested in alternative ways to tell and share life stories and began writing fiction and memoir (for examples see www.abctales.com/user/gletherby) and running workshops for others interested in doing similar www.gayle-letherby.co.uk I am grateful for the support I receive within the childless community, including from friends in the Full Stop Community and at Storyhouse Childless Storyhouse Childless, and honoured to have been chosen as one of the World Childless Week Champions for 2025/2026.
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Penny Shepherd is a trustee of the UK charity Ageing without Children and coordinator of the Ageing Without Children East Kent local group. This covers the east part of the “Garden of England” between London and France.
AWOC is the UK’s only national charity dedicated to supporting and advocating for those ageing without the support of adult children, either because they never had children or for reasons such as distance, estrangement, death or their child’s own care needs. It seeks a world where the growing numbers of people ageing without children or close family support are supported to age well and have a positive later life.
Penny has a particular focus on the additional information about planning for later life and after death - advance care planning, wills, funerals, and so on – needed by those of us that don’t have “someone we trust”. Too often, mainstream planning material assumes everyone has family or friends who can help them in later life and manage their affairs after death and fails to address the needs of those of us who don’t.
Her personal mix of relevant experience includes caring for her mother who lived with dementia, chairing a working group on funeral plans for the UK actuarial profession, serving as an NHS governor, influencing UK government pension investment policies, developing an investment industry membership network and writing briefing notes for the current King. OK, she is still trying to work out how the last one is relevant to ageing without children
Useful resources, mainly for England and Wales (current at March 2026):
Ageing Without Children (AWOC) website, for relevant blogs and information on local groups
“Planning for Later Life Without Someone You Trust” - AWOC webinar recording on YouTube (2024)
My Future Care Handbook – first read this AWOC blog about its strengths and limitations for AWOCs and for a discount code.
Planned for end 2026: “After Death Without Someone You Trust” – AWOC webinar to be recorded and made available on YouTube. Meanwhile, other resources on wills, funerals, etc.:
Public Health Funerals:
“Ashes to Admin: Tales from the Caseload of a Council Funeral Officer” by Evie King
UK Government: Public Health Funerals Good Practice Guidance
Pre-Paid Funeral Plans:
Making sure your will can be found:
The National Will Register (private company, works with The Law Society)
National Will Safe Ltd (private company)
Identifying Missing Persons:
Forthcoming book (not AWOC-specific but written by an AWOC):
“Get Ahead of Being Dead: Your Handy Planner for the End of Life” by Evie King (due for publication in June 2026)
Please note: Nothing in this episode constitutes personal legal or financial advice. Laws and frameworks vary by country and region, always do your own research and consult a qualified professional for advice specific to your circumstances.
Resources and links mentioned:
Ageing Without Children (AWOC): awoc.org.uk
Office of the Public Guardian (England & Wales): gov.uk/opg
National Will Register: nationalwillregister.co.uk
The Cinnamon Trust: cinnamon.org.uk
Cats Protection: cats.org.uk
Dogs Trust: dogstrust.org.uk
Ashes to Admin: Stories from the Caseload of a Local Authority Funeral Officer by Evie King
Continue the conversation: Join The Full Stop Community at thefullstoppod.com/fullstopcommunity
The Full Stop is a podcast for and about the childless not by choice community. New episodes available on all major podcast platforms
Helpline details
UK: Contact the Samaritans on freephone 116 123, they're open 24 hours and are there to listen and Mind.
USA: Suicide Prevention
Canada: Canada Crisis
Australia: Beyond Blue
Sarah Lawrence After The Storm
Pink Therapy (UK): Directory of LGBTQIA+ friendly therapists.
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