The relationship between parents and non-parents can be full of pain
Bill Bailey, comedian and musician, said that to write a joke, he starts with the laugh first. We start with a world where people who do not have children are equal to those who do and we have more in common than that which divides us.
We didn’t always feel like that
We’ve made it a goal to end comments like ‘just adopt’, ‘you aren’t doing it right’, ‘have my children, you’ll be grateful you’re not a parent’, and questions like ‘do you have children?’ or assumptions that people are parents.
These are just a few of the comments that we - Michael, Sarah and Berenice - have heard ourselves. We have heard others from our listeners and Community members.
The Full Stop Community CIC aims to provide accessible episodes for those who are childfree (by choice) and colleagues, family and friends of anyone who is childless not by choice. We welcome parents to our audience and aim to be informative so they can stand alongside us with more knowledge and understanding. We do not seek to devalue parents, since being childless is hard, and so is being a parent but we will endeavour to represent those who are involuntarily childless at every opportunity.
20% of women and an estimated 25% of men (source: Dr Robin Hadley) are childless not by choice.
The chances are that you will:
work with a childless person
have a family member or friend who is childless
know someone in a business network who is not a parent, not by choice.
You may not know who they are, as it’s comments like those above which can stop people from sharing their stories and can impact mental health. Almost every solution will have been considered by the person who is not a parent, not by choice. Common myths, often published by the media, can lead people to assume that adoption and IVF are easy and that they are solutions for all when there are many reasons why someone isn’t a parent, as the Full Stop podcast has covered since 2019 and we’re far from through.
Full Stop podcast is a valuable resource featuring voices discussing the many ways in which life can be challenging for childless people, in a way that meets in the middle so that parents can learn from our guests and Berenice, Michael and Sarah, about new ways of communicating.
All our episodes welcome you, and here are a few that we recommend (with transcripts available or to download).
Let’s meet in the middle
We can provide resources for libraries, surgeries and community places. Please let us know what you’re thinking of, and we’ll be in touch.
You are welcome to share the Full Stop and follow us on social media.
Leave a review on your listening platform of choice or drop us a message, we love to hear what you’ve gained from our work too.
We are comfortable with speaking in shared spaces that are welcoming and safe for us too - we three are all childless not by choice. Check out our presenters page to find out what we can bring to your event, podcast or group.
You can donate to our work and help us to keep our CIC running and our work free. Funds help us to increase awareness, open up our Community to those who may not afford to be members and keep our podcast free to air.
We welcome volunteers and exchanges of skills where it’s appropriate but our podcast is for childless (and occasionally childfree) people and our Community is exclusively for childless people.
Mission Statement
We provide a cohesive voice to our community, covering topics that affect us.
The Full Stop Community CIC aims to bring connections those who identify as childless for any reason. We do this through our podcast and online community space. We champion our peers and our ethos is collaboration, not competition.
Every guest and each presenter, and where ever possible, our suppliers, are also childless to enable us to to identify with each other and assist those on their own path to acceptance.
We aim to provide accessible episodes for those who are childfree (by choice) and colleagues, family and friends of anyone who is childless not by choice. We welcome parents to our audience and aim to be informative so they can stand alongside us with more knowledge and understanding. Our Community is our safe space for childless not by choice designed to bring about connection, encouragement, shared interests and support.
We can learn together.
The Full Stop Community CIC is committed to creating a diverse environment without regard to race, colour, religion, gender, gender identity or expression, sexual orientation, national origin, genetics, disability, or age.
The founders and directors are Berenice Howard-Smith and Sarah Lawrence (based in the UK) and Michael Hughes (based in Australia).
The Full Stop – Inclusion, Diversity and Equality (I,D&E) Statement
This document is a statement of The Full Stop understanding of inclusion, diversity, and equality and what the implications are for us. The definitions, the scope of the concepts, and the suggested implications based on our offering as a childless not by choice CIC.
CONTEXT
The Full Stop’s purpose is to develop, promote, and raise awareness of being childless not by choice globally for the benefit of those who are childless, our peers and society at large. We recognise that there are different traditions, cultural practices, legal frameworks, and history within and between regions and countries.
We believe that the diversity is a major strength. And, by being more conscious regarding the implications of inclusion, diversity, and equality we will better serve our vision to make childless not by choice people feel better supported and enable those who do not identify as childless to learn from us and feel able to do so without exclusion,
DEFINITIONS
Inclusion, diversity, and equality, are different concepts. Inclusion, diversity, and equality can each be present, or missing in an organisation or team, independently of the other.
Inclusion is an emotion. Inclusion is affected when people feel respected, valued, trusted, safe, have a sense of belonging, and are able to be their best self.
Diversity is difference. Our differences as childless not by choice people include, but are not limited to, abilities, age, appearance, career, clothes, culture, disability, education, ethnicity, experience, gender, health, interests, marital status, nationality, non-parental status, philosophy, political views, religion, sexual identity, socio-economic background, thought processes, tribes and work experience. Some of these differences are permanent and some may change and shift over time. Our differences are what makes us unique.
Equality is treating everyone equally well. In practice this means that if we are to help individuals be, and do their best, we are likely to be treating everyone differently – if only slightly, because we are all unique. Treating everyone equally well, requires us to respond to people, having regard to their differences; not regardless of their differences.
OUR VISION
Our vision is that the The Full Stop is an inclusive community in which every member feels respected, valued, trusted, safe, has a sense of belonging and can be their true self.
We will
Demystify childless not by choice myths with clarity.
Welcome all who identify as childless not by choice to our space.
To be more confident in demonstrating, through our work. that …
everybody matters
we are all different
diversity adds value
inclusion is an emotion
To learn from each other regarding the Inclusion, Diversity and Equality agenda by:
regularly seeking feedback from members of our Full Stop Community and listeners, with particular reference to any bias that our behaviour may be revealing