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Welcome to our latest podcast episode and newsletter from the Full Stop and beyond.

We’re discussing the childless menopause in Episode 77. Some life chapters arrive quietly, others crash into us without warning. Our bodies have often been at the centre of our story, holding both our deepest hopes and our greatest heartaches. It can be tempting to turn away from that relationship. But what if, instead of ignoring the signals, we started listening? Anne Barratt joins us from Empowering Health in Australia to share her experiences and what she has gained from different holistic disciplines and how she’s creating ‘aha’ moments for herself, her clients, and, we hope, for you too.

We always welcome your feedback and reviews on your preferred listening channel and would love to know what you think. Read on for our reflections and news from the community.

We love to hear from you about the episodes and everything else. Is there someone you think we need to talk to on the podcast or a topic we need to cover. Contact us via social media or drop us an email (Michael@, Sarah@ or Berenice@ thefullstoppod.com). 

And lastly, thanks for the kind words, comments and emails that we received after episode 76. Every word gives us strength, and we appreciate each one.

With love,
Berenice, Sarah and Michael

I’m not ready to be put out in the menopausal pasture …

… and frankly, why should we be?

I find myself at that age now when my body seems to have a mind and will of its own. My tolerance levels are waning, my weight increasing, my skin easily irritated, much like me. I also struggle with a frozen shoulder and the brain fog. Eugh! The bloody brain fog! How is it possible to be so easily distracted and forget words or why you went into the kitchen..? 

I have to admit that up until I started going through it myself, I was under the impression that it was essentially ‘the vapours’ with some overheating (A Victorian term for women that struggled with depression, anxiety and light-headedness). This came from the little my female predecessors told me; however, my experience has been far more wide ranging than just some small, disconnected symptoms, and it’s then that I realise this is a systemic change affecting all parts of the body.

This transition that all women pass through if they hit middle-age can be an especially hard time to get your head around. Where you once recognised the woman that stared back at you from the mirror, there is now a stranger that has your eyes, but seemingly nothing else that you recognise. It can be so easy to get very frustrated, worn down and just completely pissed off by the perimenopause, because it can last a very long time. Is it any wonder that many of us feel old before our time and that it’s time to be put out to pasture?

And this was why it was wonderful to be joined by Anne Baratt, who is an award-winning holistic practitioner and founder of Empowering Health. Anne brings a wealth of knowledge from working with women who are going through the menopause. She really helped to reframe things and in particular why we’re not ready to be written off and still have a lot to offer. 

Because there is still plenty of life left to live, while we get through this transition. From my own experience I’ve noticed that some of the changes I’m going through aren’t wholly unwelcome. While I’m easily irritated, I’ve found that time in nature, walking and in solitude or with close friends, helps me reset my tolerance for nonsense. 

I’ve also noticed that the need for more space opens up opportunities to be creative again. I love nothing more than getting out a favourite colouring book, listening to a supernatural podcast and losing hours to something that helps me switch out of the drama that is the wider world at the moment.  

And I’m sure some of you can relate to this one…my middle-aged bullshit-o-meter is also becoming more highly attuned and my tolerance for it much reduced. Yes, I’m turning into a restless, perhaps mildly fractious middle-aged woman, but I get the sense that many of my perimenopausal friends are also in the same boat (is it awful to say thankfully..?)

And I get that it’s frowned on to be a middle-aged woman with things to say, that might be unpopular, but I think we might be becoming an army of middle-aged women that have frankly reached their limit for nonsense. And for that we need to cut ourselves some slack, because no-one warned us that menopause was like this. Nor did anyone mention that a childless menopause can hit differently. 

So, I think before we decide collectively that we should be reduced to grazing in the local field, can we take the time to take a deep breath, grab ourselves a glass of something refreshing and appreciate that we’re nothing less than bloody amazing for turning up, when we’re going through this?  

Sarah x

Trust in the body

For many of us who are childless, there are occasions when we’ve felt betrayed by our own bodies. It’s easy to tune out, to push past the signals, or to live in our minds. I’ve certainly done that a lot and been in denial about everything menopause. I’ve learnt that every ache, hot flush, wave of fatigue, or sudden burst of emotion may be a message. These messages aren’t here to punish us; they can be used to guide us toward balance, care, and self-compassion.

That’s all very well if we feel compassion, perhaps from being seen and heard, but my experiences of seeking help means dealing with the feelings that come up in historical and societal constructs about what it is to be a woman. From witchhunts, to hysteria and the always annoying ‘cheer up, love, might never happen’ have caused damage. Add childlessness into the mix, and it becomes painfully obvious that we sisters must do this for ourselves.

I loved Anne’s attitude and savvy, and how inspiring it is to spend time with someone who has felt deep grief and pain, and to find new beginnings and, in doing so, create support for other childless people, who can then build their own toolbox.

It’s hard to find the strength to do that sometimes. Having gone through failed IVF, and then treated my body unkindly, to learn to forgive and listen to it was a tremendous ask for me. It might be for you too? A lot of that experience came from learning about ultra-processed food, connecting some dots with other areas of my health and finding exercises that I liked. Meditation has long been important to me too, just to calm the chatter and I find creating art helpful.

Not every tool will fit - these are some of my tools - and that’s okay. You might discover that yoga leaves you cold but Pilates feels amazing, or that journaling frustrates you but voice notes help you process emotions. Over time, your toolbox becomes a source of stability in moments when life feels unsteady. When childlessness, grief, or body changes feel overwhelming, you’ll have a ready-made set of supports to turn to—like a safety net you’ve woven for yourself.

I hope you find this episode helpful. Men are invited too, and you’ll hear Michael share his wisdom here. I love his curiosity and support on a topic that can often have boundaries, but can affect us all. Thanks Mr H.

Berenice x

What do I do?

I’ve been mulling over this for some time now. What the hell do I say about menopause?!

I don’t live it, I don’t feel it, and so I don’t feel right in writing about it, and so I could feel myself regressing back to the “just say nothing” behaviour that is my ‘go to’ response.

But a few conversations have been had within our online community that have allowed me to see things from a different perspective.

I’m a normal bloke and I’m sure, I’m not alone in the way I feel, so if there are any men reading this or you want a man to be more enlightened, I hope this helps.

We can now say that Vickie has been going through menopause for some time, but her recent hysterectomy saw a drastic change in her symptoms. Prior to the operation, the things she struggled with sort of crept up on her, and so it wasn’t so obvious.  But post op, it was like a… insert your favourite cliche here… bull in a china shop, like a freight train.  Depression and hot flushes came on hard, and as Vickie will tell you, she thought she was going crazy.

It left me feeling worried and useless, as there was nothing I could do except turn on the air conditioning to bring the bedroom down to 15C.  It was confusing to see someone you have seen behave in a certain way for over 40 years almost change overnight. This again left me feeling useless.  For me, I just go quiet, but I know that others will respond in very different ways.  Whilst quiet, I try to observe and make sense of things, rather than react to what is immediately in front of me, and I think this helped.

As I sit here writing this, I believe the two episodes we have now dedicated to menopause, the numerous conversations I’ve had with women of our vintage have helped me make sense of what is happening to both Vickie and women I know well.

And so, if anyone asks me for advice, it would be, try not to be reactive, as Anne in our episode says,  “right now the orchestra is out of tune”.  Be curious, educate yourself - our two episodes can help, but there are plenty of other places to find information.  Remember, this is more confusing for her than it is for you, as it mentally rocks women to the core, so be patient

And……. Get a good air conditioner.

Michael x

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Guest and community news

Storyhouse Childless

It’s just over a month until Storyhouse Live is taken over by non-parents. The event starts with speed friending on 12th and ends on 14th September 2025. Sarah and Berenice will be there. Please come and find us if you’d like to be on the podcast or would like some friendly support. To get your ticket, head to the website to buy. And in case you need it, here’s a website from Chester tourism to help you find a place to stay. Listen to the team who created the event on episode 64.

Breaking news! Sold out!

Empty is Robert Nurden’s play about unwanted childlessness and last month we told you that it was on at The Cockpit on 7 September in London - it’s sold out! This is wonderful news and our hearty congratulations to Robert. If you’ve missed it, then a shorter extract will be performed at Storyhouse Childless on the evening of 13 September. We’ll keep you posted on future shows and news from Robert.

• Listen to Robert on the Full Stop podcast

Gateway Women Reignite weekends

Gateway Women Reignite weekends are workshops for women who are childless through infertility or circumstance. Designed to help you heal your heart, work through grief and start to explore a life that could be. Multiple dates available:

• 27 & 28 September – online – with Sarah Lawrence & Yvonne John 

• 11 & 12 October – in-person (London) – with Sarah Lawrence & Sophia Andeh

• 22 & 23 November – in-person (London) – with Sarah Lawrence & Yvonne John

Here’s how to book

• Listen to Jody Day on the Full Stop podcast

World Childless Week

The themes for World Childless Week 2025 have been launched and you can find them on the website.

• Listen to Stephanie on the Full Stop podcast

Helpline details

UK: Contact the Samaritans on freephone 116 123, they're open 24 hours and are there to listen and Mind.

USA: Suicide Prevention

Canada: Canada Crisis

Australia: Beyond Blue

Meriel Whale Counselling

Sarah Lawrence After The Storm

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The Full Stop podcast and content posted by the Full Stop Community CIC is presented solely for general information, and educational purposes. The guests’ views may not represent those of the Full Stop Community CIC, online community members or the co-directors. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user’s own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.